Our traditions

We vacation twice a year.

In Summer, we have a family reunion with Joy's Mom's side of the family.  We travel to Los Angeles, stay a week and enjoy Mama's good cooking!

Bubba Gump's in Santa Monica with Joy's brother

Summer BBQ with family in Los Angeles

We also take a vacation, just the two of us.  Experiencing new cultures is something we have in common.  When we visit new places, we like to stay off the beaten path, talk to locals and eat where locals eat.

What James looks forward to in adopting...

"Being able to do things with the kids, taking them to the park to play and just being with them" are the things that make James happy about being able to adopt and start a family. 

What do you look forward to as a dad?  "Being a family and helping my kids as they grow up to be everything they want to become."

Joy knows that James will truly look forward to coming home to "Daddy, daddy!" and little kid hugs at the front door.  He loves coming home to his wife and dog greeting him after work.  

 

  

What Others Say About Us...

"I've known this sweet young lady since I was a kid. I was an awkward, chubby little 10 year old. And Joy was a beautiful, wholesome, 16 year old. Just like a real sister, she taught me many important girl things. Not only things like teen girl stuff or how to dance like no one is watching, but she also gave me confidence. She built my self esteem and taught me that with a little effort, I could also blossom into a lovely young woman. Anyone who is lucky enough to have her in their life will quickly feel her special influence. I'm praying that this wonderful couple is blessed so that they may bless back!"

Heidi R.



"James & Joy are very caring - they've given encouragement and support to many people.  They're also consistently positive and cheery, full of hope are very committed.

James & Joy will make excellent parents because of their stability and love for children.  They're well-balanced and sound in themselves and financially.  Their love for children has always bubbled over - they've watched our 3 boys many times are are ready to help other parents.

We have gone through adoption classes ourselves and have an understanding of the adoptive relationship.  We know James & Joy will make wonderful adoptive parents and love any children they adopt!"

Aaron & Alyce, friends for 10 years

Sherry Dee, Elizabeth V.C. & Joy celebrating
after organizing another event together 
- a rustic outdoor wedding

James and Joy are: "Honest, outgoing, friendly, fun, caring, sincere, cheerful, organized, hard working, loving, very giving of themselves.  Financially stable, Joy & James are very good with children and concerned with the development of them to be well rounded with a strong emphasis on honest character.  I personally believe James and Joy will make wonderful parents and that growing up in their home is the making of a happy childhood!"

Elizabeth V.C., friends for 10 years

James and Joy "Both are very friendly, positive, outgoing people who love God.  I have been best friends with Joy for about 10 years now and never seen her act or do anything that would break my confidence in her as a person or a Christian.  Joy is always eager and ready to help any way she can and very good at keeping a positive attitude regardless of how hopeless or challenging a situation may be.  She has a very calm and patient personality and in the ten years that I have known her I have never heard her speak unkindly or in a demeaning way to anyone, but rather when she does not agree with something she always either gives her opinion a very respectful way or just chooses to remain quiet and keep her opinions to herself.  She is a natural at problem solving and always puts 100% into anything she takes on.  

James is also very positive, very outgoing & a 'people' person.  He has a heart to serve God and is a very hard worker.  In the 10 years I've been friends with his wife I have observed him getting up faithfully to meet with clients to support his family and come home at night and do follow up calls to his clients being very devoted to see his company thrive and keep that #1 spot in the industry her in the State of California.  He is also very active in church and sports and always gives 100% to anything he does.  

I believe both James and Joy will make excellent parents.  Both have a lot to offer a child and both would be patient, attentive, kind and loving.  I have heard Joy say that whether or not she has a child of her own it has always been on her heart to adopt a child.  Both James and Joy are patient, loving, kind people and would make a child feel loved and secure.  

I would not hesitate to recommend James and Joy for adoption, I feel that they are both at a place in their lives that they are ready to be parents and will be very attentive and loving parents."

Sherry Dee, Joy's best friend of 10 years


"James and Joy are a young couple, faithful in our church congregation, own their own business, full of life, optimistic, and energetic.  They are settled in their home life and in their spirituality.  James and Joy would make wonderful parents.  They listen well, they are willing to make corrections when they see their faults, work well with children, and will seek out counsel when they fell the need to.I recommend James and Joy be considered as a couple qualified to adopt a child."

David G, former pastor of 6 years

Our views on adoption

I've always wanted to adopt.  Family is a blending of personalities, strong opinions about tomatoes (for or against) and good times!

James and I hope to adopt and 'blend the personalities' of 2, 3, 4...kids in the future.

The beauty in having fertility issues is that everyone in this household is and will be their own, individual, genetically unique person, us included!  I'm so glad to be special, just like my future kids.  We will all have that in common and bring our own flavor to the mix!

As a dating couple, we chose each other as spouses. 

As a married couple, we hope you choose us as adoptive parents. 

Adoption is a biblical principle.  Jesus was adopted by Mary's husband, Joseph.  As a person comes to Christ, he or she is 'born again' through adoption into the family of God.  

Speaking to a lady that is choosing adoption for her baby is very much like a blind date to me; we both hope to put the best foot forward, learn about the other person, be as calm as possible when you're thinking "what are they thinking", and we're looking to see if this could be a long term relationship (or at least for the next 18 years!).  Maybe I'm the only that sees it that way, but adoption is a long term relationship with all the parents and finding someone you connect with is important to us.  After all, adoption is about family.

On our second date, we both had a moment that we knew we were meant for each other.
We never said a word, we just looked at each other and hugged for the longest.  I didn't even know his last name!

I found out his last name and changed mine to match 1 year and one day after our first date.  8.15.04

A letter to our future child

You are not a second choice.  I grew up on an Air Force base and my sweet friend next door was adopted.  Seeing the joy of her family story, I have always known I wanted to adopt.  You are my life's plan.  I look happily forward to being part of yours.  

James is the daddy that will always smother your face with kisses.   You'll never wonder if he loves you.  He will tell you a hundred times throughout the day.  He will take you with him everywhere, even if it's down the road to grab me an ingredient for dinner.

He will teach you about sports, even if you're a girl because "girls that love sports are just cool".

Your first mother gives you roots.  She chose me to give you wings.

Praying for you,

Joycelyn   

Our Marriage

We each married our best friend.  We met in college and knew on our second date that we were meant to be!  Six months later, I proposed on Valentine's Day and we've been happily married for 11 years now!  We're blessed to have our own business; it affords us time off each year and the ability to make extra money when we need to.  We love our sweet life.  We're blessed to have Joy fulfill her dreams to stay home with our future children.

Family vacations are important to us - we enjoy learning about new cultures and experiencing whatever the locals do.  We've enjoyed travelling to many exciting places such as Hawaii, Canada and Mexico as well as within the States.  Our favorite getaway is Maui.

We still say "please" and "thank you" to each other.

Cancun, Mexico Valentine's 2014

Kauai - The Grand Canyon of the South Pacific 2008

James surprising Joy with a spring bouquet at the salon where she was getting pampered.
James often brings home "just because" flowers <3 

What I love about my husband, James...

James is generous, funny and encouraging.  He is affectionate and sincere and has the absolute best heart!  He is very thoughtful and holds the door open for strangers.  He still surprises me with flowers 'just because'!  He has built an ethical business from the ground up with his own blood, sweat and tears.

James pushes himself to be a better person.  He is open, honest and very humble: if I compliment him, he always directs the compliment back to me.  (That's not what makes him 'honest' LOL)

4 Wheelin' on a weekend camping trip with friends from  Church.

We are DIY nuts with war wounds to prove it - leaving a mark on
his hand as we remove floor tiles in the kitchen.

His perseverance is evident in his hobbies: working out, triathlons and basketball.  In his second triathlon, he excelled and placed second in his age category.  He looks forward to an active life with a child one day.

My husband is a sports FANATIC.  He loves all the Northern California teams: 49ers, Giants, Warriors and Kings.  If you quizzed me, I could name at least 5 players from each team.  He gives me running updates :)  If he had his absolute dream job, he would be a sports caster.  From time to time, I ask him to mute the TV and fill in on the sports casting for me - he's pretty good, but I'm biased <3

I love that James will try any new recipe without making a face or smelling it first!

James is a genuinely good person and you feel it the first time you meet him.  He's a guy that you just know you can trust.

I love that chocolate fudge brownie and mint chip are his favorite ice cream flavors.  

What I love about my wife, Joycelyn...

Joy is an amazing wife and instant friend to those she meets.  She's smart and sweet and cares about people.  I've seen her organize BBQ's in our home to help someone who is new to the area or shy come out of their shell.

She's a great cook and loves decorating to make our home beautiful and welcoming.  She received her degree in Computer Business Administration and has applied that towards running our office and business.

She was born to teach.  She's patient and takes time to explain things, especially with kids.  They are always drawn to each other.

She likes to look at things from the other side of the story and has a level head on her shoulders.

I like that she's not afraid to get her hands dirty or make a fool of herself for the sake of fun.  She is a social butterfly and brings out games and new ideas for everyone to enjoy together for 'quality time'.  She thinks of everyone, includes each one and goes out of her way to make sure no one is left out.

Joy loves to play pranks on people.  She laughs the hardest at her own jokes even though I think mine are funnier.

She is the one that will remember and scrapbook all the small moments of our life, even little things I may not notice.  She will notice and make it somehow more special.  She is a joy!

Trout fishing with friends (the picture just makes the fish look smaller - it was much larger in real life LOL)

Rex, making new friends at his favorite dog park

Camping on the beach in Bodega Bay with 100 of our closest friends
- building the winning sand castle for the competition!

Indoor sky diving because she's always up for anything!

Joy loves to make her own home decor - sewing a fuzzy blanket for the living room.
She's my personal seamstress, too.

Our Family

We're thankful to have our parents live so close!  James' parents, sister and niece in the photos are all a 15 minute drive away.  Joy's mom is her best friend - they share clothes, stories, housekeeping tips, recipes and many, many laughs.  We visit her in Los Angeles every year.  These two have Monday night telephone dates every week where I can hear them laughing for hours.  They are two peas in a pod.

The soon-to-be grandparents have been waiting for years and are anxious for another little one!  Everyone is praying that God will bless our hope to start a family.

We know this baby will be spoiled by love and showered with gifts.  Our family loves to five gifts and do special things for one another!  There is a lot of love, warmth, openness and giving within our family.

We enjoy spending afternoons with James' parents having BBQ's and swimming in their pool throughout summer.  We go on walks and play cards a lot as well!

We enjoy making Thanksgiving dinner together for our families in our home.  We like to make everything fresh, from scratch at 4 AM!

Joy's sausage and sage stuffing recipe was a hit.
Her garlic mashed potatoes are my personal favorite!

James' parents are the couple we double date with most often.
Outgoing, loving and full of character, they are our treasured friends.

Our Home

We bought a 3 bedroom, 2 bath house in 2005 on a cul de sac in a family friendly neighborhood.  Every Fourth of July, the families BBQ, rent bounce houses and watch the  kids giggle over their sparklers.

We have a fenced in backyard with plenty of room for a swing set, sand box and slide.  Within walking distance is a large park with jungle gym, soccer, baseball fields and basketball courts where James likes to practice his three pointer!  This is where we routinely walk our sweet dog, Rex, who loves trying to catch squirrels.  He's amazingly quick and agile!

Joy hand painted these modern gray tree silhouettes on the walls
- works well for a boy or girl and as they grow into teens.

Joy also hand made the colorful mobile above the crib.
Babies only see in shades of gray so the different vibrant colors
and different shapes make it interesting for the baby.

Our Life

Our close friends are like family.  We're blessed to have these friends, who are going to be "Aunties" and "Uncles".  we love the traditions we have built over the years - sharing holidays and vacations, joys and prayers together.

We like to go on walks with our dog, Rex, each day.  He of course, loves the dog park!  We have date night on Tuesday when we like to check out new movies together.  James is addicted to theater popcorn...with theater butter and Mike n' Ike or Hot Tamales are a must for Joy!

We pretty much go with the flow in our off time.  If that means going to the Farmer's Market and getting fresh veggies, trying out a new Indian restaurant or going to a ball game.  We love watching little league games at the park and will go root for the underdogs.

Joy and our niece light up at each other

Why we want open adoption

I'm Joy, one half of the James & Joycelyn adopt equation.

I will preface this story by saying that my mother is one of the most humble, self giving, loving people we know.  Afterall, she is a mother.

When I was 8, my parents divorced.  My dad was military and we lived on base.  He had a stable home and career so he had custody of me and my younger brother.

Growing up, I always wondered "Why" my mother 'didn't want me'.  It was a silent thing inside me.  We spoke on the phone on birthdays and holidays and I would cry afterwards because I was filled with love for her and a longing for my mom as well as my 'whys'.

Joy and her BFF/Mom trying to make a <3

As I got into junior high, my brother and I moved in with my mom.  I had the opportunity to ask some of the hard questions I had.  Her being honest, owning the responsibility, listening to my hurts and respecting my strength to ask them have really helped me.  I understood she's human.  She has a right to her own circumstances, short comings, stresses, ambition, and hurts from her own life.  Though she never blamed anyone or made an excuse, I was able to see all these things because she was so open and raw about answering all my questions honestly, even the hard ones.

She was going to school all day and studying all night to stand up as a newly single woman.  I have a lot of respect for her openness and I no longer feel unwanted.  I knew she chose the best life for me and I wouldn't be as stable as I am without her making that sacrifice.  She's in the medical field now and is self sufficient.  She's accomplished and I'm proud of her.  She's an inspiration - I know living without me was hard on her, but she knew I was in good hands.  

That's why open adoption is important to me.  I know what it feels like as a child to wonder "why doesn't my mommy want me".  I want our child to grow up with a strong sense of self, confident and secure.

I'm 37 now.  My mom is best friend, next to my husband.  She is warm, positive, open and free and never judges me.  Growing up with my dad, I sometimes had a different perspective than he did.  Knowing my mom, I realize and cherish where those perceptions have come from.  I'm just like her.  And I want my children to have that depth and sense, too.  I believe children are richer and healthier for it.  Besides, everyone could use more people loving them and cheering them on!

From Our Hearts

Thank you for considering us for the most precious gift you could ever give - a family.  We can imagine that it is not the easiest road but obviously a truly loving one.  You will always be the hero to this child, we know that and so will he or she.  Ask us any questions and we look forward to getting to know more about you, too!

Superman was adopted.  So were Jesus, Nelson Mandela, Steve Jobs, Mother Teresa and Moses.

"There are two lasting bequests we can give our children. 

One is roots.  

The other is wings. "  

= Hodding Carter, Jr.

We look forward to giving together both roots and wings - James & Joycelyn